Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
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42 reviewsHarry confronts Justin, What happened with Remus is revealed, A night out, The Train ride home for Christmas, a dear john note, and Christmas at the Grangers.
5Original
Reviews
Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) Geovanni_Luciano 2008-05-25
A couple of things come to mind with this chapter. First, I liked it. Good update. Second, you’re playing a bit with Harry/Hermione shippers here. Not only with the conversation between Harry and Hermione’s father and what Harry thinks of her but with providing what happened with your description of Remus’ interaction with the story and Albus’ immediate knee-jerk reaction to the drunken story telling. You had Albus obliviate them and make tweaks to character traits. I’m curious as to what would happen should Harry have Ron and Hermione’s memories restored, as well.
Would Ron still have dated Hermione without the modifications? Would Hermione’s feeling have been for Ron or would they have developed for Harry?
You have to have another confrontation between Harry and Remus. This is a given. He needs to pay for his crime of not being a friend to Lily, James and Sirius through lack of action.
Last, the bit with Daphne was predictable and completely presumable the letter was a Father’s reaction to Harry having interest in his daughter but not on his terms. You didn’t go into much detail in regards to the letter so I would have to assume that it was in Daphne’s hand-writing. I’ve read the reviews for this chapter as you’re one that does, not only read your reviews but usually responds to them as well.
Most of your reviews are centered on the relationship issue but you had a lot more things happen here than just the letter. I do hope that you continue to work on your subplots and keep them fresh.
Your Tonks is a great character and a good Big Sister for Harry. I do hope that she gets involved with Harry a bit more in the story as far as pranks and whatnot. Your initial utilization of her was good and I hope that she pops in more often and not just in flash backs unless you’ve got a forward view in the current time frame.
Geovanni LucianoAuthor's response
- Harry's friendship with Hermione is a little tease directed at those who evidently became ill at the thought of Ron and Hermione becoming intimate...
- As far as Dumbledore's tampering, it will become clear later that the memory blocks on all three were removed (at Harry's expense), but he personality modifications were not. By this time they had been living the persons the mods encouraged for three years, who know what they would have been like with that removed. All three had a far too intense sense of self to risk it.
- I'm trying to keep the story fresh and light without too much angst, but there has to be some (they are after all teens) Daphne's story will be told next chapter.
- Tonks will be in the next chapter, rest assured.Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) BenRG 2008-05-25
Good writing. I really liked Remus' sins. You have structured it right to destroy any lingering sympathy the reader may have for the character - He had the chance but chose (and that is the killer) a path that caused suffering to those who should have come first. Okay, that silver-tongued old monster Dumbledore probably did a fine job of making it seem right but, in the end, he still had to choose to betray his friends.
It is pretty obvious that Daphne's 'breakup' letter was from her father. When Harry realises this, things will not be very pretty (for Mr. Greengrass, that is). However, this will probably not occur until after a hillarious and painful (for the participants) confrontation when they are back at Hogwarts.
So, Harry has now borrowed a plot device from 'Terminator 2'. What next? Flew Voldemort into space and flushed him overboard a la Alien? ;-)
I love this story and I'm glad that you have kept up the quality of the writing.
BenRG's Rating: 8/10Author's response
- I thought I came up with about the most reprehensible thing that Remus could have done, but I've gotten reviews from several people asking what Remus had done wrong...
- The Daphne situation will come to a head, though not necessarily a resolution, next chapter.
- Actually I came up with it from pondering how to kill a snake quickly... I've read more about reptile diseases than I ever dream existed, and after sitting around with some buddies telling sea stories including one when I was topside on a submarine when the N2 plant vented into the water between us and the tender with a most spectacular reaction that the idea occurred to me to use liquid N2... The terminator ending never really occurred to me (truth be told, I've never seen any but the first in a single sitting.) It has been suggested that I have Harry introduce Tom to Tony Montana and let him say hello to Tony's little friends, but that's an old joke that so many in the audience might not get.Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) ALConfederate 2008-05-25
To all y'all complaining that Harry's meek acceptance of the "Dear John" letter, go back and reread the last section of the last chapter. Harry's been expecting something like this to happen. It always does.
Yes, it's obvious the letter was forced. I'm waiting for Tracey & Hermione to have a "pull your head out Potter" intervention session. I'm also waiting for Harry to sit down with the goblins and ruin Daddy Greengrass in the worst possible way...Author's response
- Yeah, I telegraphed that pretty good didn't I? In reflection, we do some pretty horrible things to Harry in fan fiction, don't we?
- The Daphne situation comes to a head next chapter, though not necessarily to a resolutionHarry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) HarryGinnyTonks 2008-05-25
I assume Daphne was forced to break up with Harry because of her dad - that letter sounded a bit too clinical for a broken-hearted teenage girl.
And I would love to see more the relationship between Tonks and Harry. (not romantic, the brother/sister relationship)Author's response
- yes she was.
- Tonksy will be back... She still owes harry for the 'old and bitter' comment...Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) biged78 2008-05-25
WTF??? You better have a damn good explanation of what the hell is going through Daphne's mind.Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) jsdailey 2008-05-25
I was surprised at how Harry reacted to what Remus did. To me, it seems like all that Remus was guilty of was trusting Dumbledore to do the right thing with the information at hand. He revealed everything to the trio but then they were obliviated... hmm. I hope there's some reconciliation there... Otherwise, a great chapter. I've never liked Daphne as a character, but you've done a great job making her real. Obvi, the letter was forced by her father... but where will that lead? Perhaps that situation will lead to him fighting to get her back or maybe moving on to Luna? I can't wait to find out.
jdaileyHarry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) Anaknisatanas 2008-05-25
I can understand Harry's reaction to Daphne's break up with him. I'm just surprised that she did in fact break up with him. What is going on with her?Author's response
- All will be revealed.Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) Cateagle 2008-05-25
- I can't reveal much without exposing my plot... But consider the power of a head of house...
Yes, I figured something along those lines. I rather expect things to be improved once certain friends get to talk with Harry and Daphne; I don't expect her father is going to enjoy the repercussions, either, as there are so many non-violent ways Harry can cause him great pain with the power that Harry does have at his disposal. I rather figure this is going to end up being an education for Harry in how to use his position/titles/money/etc.
In the longer term, I can't seem them getting immediately back together, but I can see them still being very good friends and possibly dating others to get a better appreciation for how they feel for each other.
Author's response
= That's the plan... Though Harry's gonna cheat a bit...Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) axelrajr 2008-05-25
its a great chapter, but i dont think daphne had any say in that letter at all.
i am rather curious though as to why it would take place.
lastly, i am also curious as to why hermoine hasn't told harry he's being an idiot and needs to go and ask daphen why.
or are you gonna have tonks do the honors?
actually, i think it would be tracey wouldnt it?Author's response
- Hermione is dealing with her own trauma... Though I wouldn't be surprised if it occurred to her later that nightHarry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
(#) Albeios 2008-05-25
Daddy isn't too happy...Author's response
- And will be becoming progressively less so.
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