FicWad

'In that moment of drilling December rain and bitter grey air, I hate him, more than I’ve ever hated anything before....'

'I catch, then and there, the first, tiny little glimpse of something that might just be honest in those empty eyes...'

I think it’s hope. The brand new, untouched, untainted beginnings of hope.

'And then I hear it properly, and my blood runs cold...'

'I’m about to angrily point out that I’m not scared of school anyway, but I bite my tongue and stay silent, because that’s just a downright lie...'

But memories don't burn as easily as flesh.

'Two perfect tears seep out from under his closed eyes, trickling past his spiky lashes and down his deathly white cheeks....'

'The truth never sleeps...'

'I just feel dead instead. A ghost that’s ready to go...'

'The adrenaline lets me feel what I feel and what I feel alone- no denial or fear or confusion to tangle the truth up.'

But they’re blindingly alive, and that makes them sort of amazing, despite their suffering. There’s no mask, and they hold onto me like no manufactured gaze ever could.

Then he smiles at me; shakily, nervously, sweetly, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

Suddenly, I can’t breathe, I’m choking, I’m crushed, I’m nothing.

I sway where I stand, the blood beating blackly in my skull.

The thing is, when you've broken, nothing changes.